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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Adoption, and what birth parents feel in November...

November was Adoption Awareness Month. 

To raise awareness, adoption agencies, friends, and family take this opportunity to flood our social media with good wishes and loving posts about the miracle of adoption. And while adoption can be and is a beautiful thing, for some, it is heartbreaking. While many celebrate this month, there are some who mourn during this time.
  
We tend to hear about the beautiful side of adoption. But what we often do not hear is that with every beautiful story, there is sometimes an equally gut-wrenching, ugly story.  For every child adopted, somewhere, there is a great loss. Some adopted children have lost their parents to death, drugs, the penal system, etc.  Others have given their children in hopes of doing what is best for them.

I speak from experience—I am a birth mother who gave away a child with the intentions of doing what was best for her.
 
Thankfully, we have an open adoption, so I am still in contact with… my daughter. 
Even that sentence is hard to type because biologically she is my daughter, but legally, physically, and emotionally… she is someone else’s.

During November, I repeatedly heard about what great a thing I did.  How selfless and wonderful my sacrifice was.  I was thanked for my choice.  And while every person dolling out these wonderful, encouraging words, wanted to lift me up and honor me…I couldn’t help but cringe at every word. Thirteen long years later, my heart is still broken for the child I “lost.”

There seems to be a perception that if you have an open adoption then you must not have this great feeling of loss, and in contrast, if you have a closed adoption, it is out of sight out of mind, right? To me, as a birth mother, this is not the case. For me, I will always remember, and my heart will always ache for my child.  

For so long, I tried to convince myself that because this was my choice I did not have the right to feel loss or pain.  That I needed to be happy and be the strong girl so many people say I am.  Moreover, that I shouldn’t show any pain because it might be hurtful for the adoptive parents (whom I love, and am so grateful for!).

But this year, this year, the Lord is giving me a peace,  a peace to mourn.  Thirteen years later, I am finally able to say I am hurting.  That while it is important to celebrate adoptions, it is also important to acknowledge those in silent mourning.

If you are like me, if you are a birth parent, please know that I am there with you.
It’s ok to mourn while others celebrate. 
It’s ok to cry.
 It’s ok to feel pain during this time and periodically. 
And most importantly, our choice doesn’t define us.

For some while now, I have felt the need to tell this side of the adoption story.  At the same time, I also feel the need to share it in a way that sheds light on the correlation between adoption and the Gospel.

Galatians 4:4-5 says, “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.”

If you are a believer, then you are adopted into the family of God! How amazing! But here is the truth: To be adopted into this amazing family, our Savior, Jesus Christ, had to die.  His mother had to give Him up, His Abba Father had to give Him up. 

In our own spiritual lives, there are many times where we mourn the death of our Savior, while also rejoicing at His sacrifice and the outcome of our eternal adoption and salvation. Overall, it represents the tragically beautiful story of adoption.

For those of you who are not birth parents, please keep these things in mind if you are speaking to a birth parent.  Likewise, birth parents, please remember that you are not alone. I recognize your own tragically beautiful story, and I mourn with you.

Last month, while everyone was posting about the beauty of adoption, I heard “Almost Lover” by Jasmine Thompson.  I love this song.  It is heartbreaking, and though she sings about the loss of a love… For me, the words fit for the loss of my child.  And for those few minutes, I allowed myself to cry. 

Today is a different day though. 
Today the sun came out! As if the Lord is kissing my cheek, telling me He loves me!  And today I celebrate with the rest of the world. Today, I love the life the Lord has given me, and I have joy!!
Today I remember that no matter the side Jesus came to die for my sins and was raised from the dead… And this, our adoption story, is the most beautiful story of all.
Our entrustment ceremony, there is both joy and mourning in this picture.



Monday, June 23, 2014

2 days...but who's counting;)

I cannot believe in 2 short days I will be headed to my home away from home...Jinja, Uganda.
This will make my 6th trip!
It is such a beautiful place, the people, the scenery, the simplicity of life.
It's easy to romanticize a place like this.  We see images like these:



I mean look at the gorgeous country side!!  The smiling faces, the kids playing!!  How could you not??
And while I LOVE these pictures, I absolutely cherish them, this is not the reality that these children live in on a day to day basis.  

Look closer.  Take the lenses off of your eyes, you know the ones that make everything look a little less like reality? Take the romantics out of the picture.  

What do you see?

The first picture has two children running, playing.  You may not be able to see it here, but what may surprise you is what they are playing with...a ball made of plastic bags.

Or the second picture, you see children laughing and playing, and they are happy, there is no doubt about it.  But take a closer look and you will see they are wearing clothes that are dirty and torn, probably the only clothes they own, and have probably had them for years.  Or the fact that the majority of the children seen here aren't wearing shoes.  

Let me take you in for an even closer, more intimate view of the children in this village:



This is life for them.  
Many of them, especially this time of year in the rainy season, are infected with Malaria.

A treatable, preventable and curable disease that becomes life threatening to these children because of their lack of access to the resources needed to treat them.  
These sweet faces, these children of God, are the reason I serve with Healing Faith. 

This collage of pictures was put together just a few short days ago.  5 children who were diagnosed in one sitting with this disease.  And thankfully, the Lord has blessed Healing Faith with the resources to give these children their lives back!  Thankfully the Lord called Jason and Kari to this place!!  

I go to play with the children, yes. 
I go to help with the testing and treatment of malaria, yes.  
But most importantly I go because thru these actions, I am answering the calling to be Jesus' hands and feet in Jinja.  To show these children and the men and women in the villages, that Jesus LOVES them so much!!  
I get so excited to see Jason teach the little ones bible lessons, and for them to listen and answer questions, and respond with excitement!!!  It is amazing to see all that the Lord is doing there.  And I am so thankful that I get to witness it, so blessed to be a part of this ministry!!  



So today, I challenge you to look for ways to be His hands and feet.  To not become stagnant in our ministry to others, for ministry is all around us, it may be here for you, even in your workplace, or He may be calling you to something more!  
You may not be called to go, but you could be called to help send those who are working overseas or who are serving right here in your community.  Pray about what the Lord would have you do, because we are ALL called to serve others!!


Be sure to head over to our team blog for updates on the team!!  www.healingfaithmissions.blogspot.com

Monday, June 2, 2014

June is here already?!!!

I cannot believe that we are beginning the month of June!  This year has just flown by!
Things that have happened this year:

I started working for Healing Faith (Whoop!! Love this ministry!)
Reagan got to go with me to Uganda for Spring Break
Kennedy turned...5 and Reagan turned...10 and Topanga turned...13! What?!  All big milestones in their lives!
Oh and I turned 30...yep I said it!  30!

The Lord has blessed us so much this year!  I cannot wait to see what the remainder of the year holds for us.

As I go into June, and am now fully aware that I will be heading back to Uganda in a mere 23 days.  The time for this has also flown by.
I have a great team, and am so excited to once again have a team of 7 girls!
Check out the team blog to "meet" them all: www.healingfaithmissions.blogspot.com

And today, I started a newsletter to all of my lovely supporters/friends/family!  I am so excited to keep everyone on that list in the loop consistently!  If you would like to be added to this list, feel free to send me your email address or your mailing address to: rachel.driskell@yahoo.com

If you don't know much about Healing Faith (if you know me you have no excuse! lol!) feel free to visit their website at www.healingfaithuganda.org.
If you want to know more than that, and would like to talk to me personally, I would love to meet with you! :)

Looking forward to the month of June!  Please keep this month in your prayers for our family, the people of Uganda, the Segner's and our team as we prepare to head out!




Friday, April 25, 2014

World Malaria Day/Day 5 of our Spring Break Trip

Sorry for the silent treatment!  It's been a little crazy around here (whats new right?!).
Today I thought would be the perfect day to pick back up.
The next blog post is Day 5 of our trip.  This just so happens to be significant for today.

Today is World Malaria Day.  A Day to bring awareness to the devastation this disease is bringing to a whole continent.
A few facts for you:

  •       A child dies from malaria every 60 seconds
  •        Most of the children are under 5 years old
  •        In 2010, almost 600,000 children in Africa died from malaria
  •        Malaria is PREVENTABLE, TREATABLE, and CURABLE
  •        The Healing Faith team encounters 6-8 positive malaria tests each week
  •        The testing and treatment for a single person infected with malaria costs less than $3
  •        The average cost of a mosquito net is $4 – too expensive for most Ugandan families who live on less than $2 a day


Day 5, we woke up to the sounds of rain... the girls knew that there was a possibility of us not making it out to the Wakisi village.  
We planned on checking on the sweet little boy who tested positive and had started treatment for Malaria earlier that week.  
The girls were quite upset at the thought of not making it out there. 
So we went to scripture

James 4:13-15  Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”  

We talked to them about how we make plans, but really God is completely in control, and we need to remember He may have something else planned for us! 
It helped a little, but they were still upset, what can ya do?! Kids will be kids:) 



We loaded up and decided to try and see if we could make it out there...

We arrived and saw the road we were supposed to drive up in the Super Custom (a type of mini van) and knew it wasn't going to happen. The pictures below say it all:








What these pictures don't show is the big hill the van would have to make up in order to get to the village, and even if it made it up, there was no guarantee on what the roads would look like once we got to the village and whether or not we would be able to get out!  So we turned around to the great disappointment of all of the kids.

Today is World Malaria Day.  

Today Healing Faith is starting a 7 day Campaign.
The goal of this campaign is to raise $25,000 in one week to allow Healing Faith to purchase a fully-equipped Mobile Malaria Vehicle that will allow the team to reach the villages year round. Malaria peaks during the rainy season – the time when it is the hardest for the Healing Faith team to reach the villages due to poor road conditions. This vehicle will enable them to reliably reach the villages regardless of the weather and will be a huge blessing to their ministry.


Click HERE to donate!

Every person who donates $50 will receive one of our new limited edition t-shirts!

And if that isn't incentive enough...every person who donates ANY amount, will be entered into a drawing to win not just one, but TWO tshirts!! One of our newly designed shirts, as well as one of our Logo tshirts!!  

Feel free to share this blog and check out their FB page for updates!  www.facebook.com/HealingFaithUganda

Rachel









Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Day 6

On day 6 we took the girls to visit a local orphanage!  It is one that I have been to many times, and always recognize a few of the sweet little ones.  It is always bittersweet to see them there.  Bitter because they are still there, and sweet because I love getting to see their sweet faces and hug them and give them a little love.
Reagan really loved getting to hold all the sweet little ones, and it was good for her to see this side of things.  At first she was really happy and playing with the kids, but then I started to see a few faces she made and was wondering what her thoughts were.

Later that evening as we were getting ready for bed, we had a talk about her day.  I asked how she felt about the day, and her response was... "At first I was really happy that they had a fun place to play, and I was having fun getting to hold the babies and play with them, but then I realized that this wasn't where they just got to play, this is where they lived...and it made me really sad."
This was the response I hoped for.  I wanted her to see not only the beauty of this place but the heartbreaking reality of it as well.

I was able to see Oscar as well, Oscar has a condition known as hydrocephaly and he has been there for at least the past 2 years, a little longer actually.  He has always held a place in my heart:)  Enjoy a couple of pictures!!


The girls learned a song!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Day 5

On Day 5 we rested.  Mostly for the girls, this was the first time taking young kids on a short term team, we were unsure how they would handle it all.  So we planned to have a rest day at this point, and we headed to the Nile River Camp.  This place is literally on the Nile River!  It's a great spot where the Segner's have formed a friendship with the owners and they are so gracious to them, I am so thankful they have a place like this fairly close to home to take a rest day and let the kids swim and have fun.  Living on the other side of the world from all of your friends and family I am sure can get very hard, so a time for rest periodically is probably such a huge blessing!
The kids swam, went on a boat ride, swam in the Nile River (don't worry this part is perfectly safe!), and Jonathan swung off the rope swing into the Nile River!  It was a great time to just reflect on the past couple of days and let the girls play and experience this beautiful part of the Lord's creation!  I didn't take the big camera, so my iPhone pics and instagram pics will have to do!! :)

A Go Pro shot by Jonathan



Jonathan swinging into the Nile

Jason's reaction to Jonathan's failed attempt at a back flip! haha!









The little bit of tv the girls watched while we were there