Kim is the Founder of Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach (APO for short), for those of you that aren't aware of who she is and the incredible work she does.
When I first met Kim, she was running APO out of her home as just a way to help unwed pregnant teenage girls find the resources needed to make a decision on what to do. Her hope was to prevent abortion, and if wanted, to connect girls to great adoption agencies that could help them find potential adoptive parents for their unborn children.
Since then she has turned it into a full blown adoption agency!
For those that don't know me incredibly well, you are probably wondering when this was and why.
Well, at the age of 17 I found myself pregnant and very confused as to what to do.
I was scared and I was hearing opinions from everyone.
I was told to get an abortion so I don't have to deal with it. I was told to consider adoption, to think about the unborn child and her life above my own. I was also on the other side told to keep the baby, that I would regret giving my child away.
Thankfully, no one really pressured me, but were just offering their loving advice.
I am a Christian, and while I was obviously not following Christ very well at that time, I knew I couldn't have an abortion because of my belief that it is murder, that I knew I couldn't live with.
However, I wasn't sure I could give a baby up for adoption either.
But my mom had learned about what Kim was doing and talked me into at least going to see what she had to say, to maybe help me make sense of it all.
So I did just that. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember her house, I remember what my ex was wearing and I remember the truck we drove up in.
I remember sitting down with her. She gave me several brochures to look at and explained that the word adoption has so many negative conotations to it, but that the adoption of today has changed. It is no longer this hush hush thing, where the baby is swept away from the birth mother never to be seen or heard of again, and everyone acts like nothing ever happened. No. Today there are many options as a birth mother. You can still choose a closed adoption, where you never see the baby again. Or you could choose an Open adoption.
This peaked my interest. What was an open adoption?
Kim explained that in an Open adoption, I could remain an active part of her life. How active would be discussed with the adoptive parents. But it could be as little as receiving pictures once in a while, to even seeing the child.
I was still very confused but I felt like I had a better grasp on what my choices were. I went home and prayed.
I wanted to keep the baby, but had no idea how I would take care of her. I knew my parents would help, but all I could think of was how would I ever get out from under them. How would I become my own person and what kind of life is that for my baby. Not a bad one of course, but not the best one.
At this point I just didn't want to make the decision. I was probably 7 months along when I made a "deal" with God. You can laugh here, because we all know how those end up! lol!
I prayed and told God "Ok if this is your will, then you will show me an adoptive couple that I know without a doubt will take care of my little girl" In the back of my head thinking, there is no way I am going to find that in any of those books the adoption agency would show me.
And thats when He did a miracle.
My mom went to visit with her best friend while her children were having their piano lesson at my old piano teacher, Jenny's house. Once the lesson was over, Jenny normally would continue on with another student and not have time to chat. But today there was a leak in her yard. She had to come out to look at it and in the process got to visit with my mother. In the course of the conversation Jenny asked about me, and my mom told her what was going on. She said that Jenny then began to tell her about her own personal infertility issues. They have one daughter, who at the time was 9 years old. It took some intense fertility treatments and new procedures to be able to have her. They had been trying for another child for some time and she had gone to Houston that morning to meet with an infertility specialist and were planning on trying in-vitro one time. It was very expensive and the chance of her conceiving was very low. When my mom mentioned I was thinking about adoption, she said I will need to talk to Tim (her husband) but do you think Rachel would let us adopt her baby?
After discussing it they called my mom and said yes, would she ask me.
I came in that evening and went straight to the kitchen for something to eat. I don't remember what I did that day or who I was with other than my ex. But I do remember standing with the freezer open (maybe for ice cream?? lol not sure why!), as my mom explained what happened.
I immediately began to cry, because I knew. I knew that it was an answer to my prayer.
And that is a small snippet into the story of Rachel Faith, my first born daughter. She just turned 11 this January...which is crazy!! She will probably be taller than me, and is incredibly smart. She is a performer and loves the stage. Most of all, she is a believer and is happy! Her older sister EB, dotes on her and loves her so much. I am so happy she has such an amazing big sister.
Kim called me this month to ask that I share my story in a little different way than I have in the past.
She explained to me that the high school girls they are in contact with now are dealing with the pressure in a different way than I did. They are being told that adoption is a bad choice. That they must not like their child if they choose it. They are looked down on if they choose this option.
I was in shock and so hurt for these girls.
In this age it has become so normal for high school unwed girls to get pregnant and raise children.
To me, the choice was not about my feelings, had it been about that she would be with me still, I did not WANT to give my baby away. I felt it was the best possible decision for her.
So today I sent her a couple of pictures. And I hope that my story helps for other young girls to see that life does go on. That adoption is a good thing if they choose it. And that it just might be the ultimate sign of love for your child. Giving them a mother and father able to care for them in a way you can't right now.
We have a very open adoption, and I thank Tim and Jenny from the bottom of my heart for this.
Here are a couple of pictures:
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| My last Dr appointment before Rachel Faith was born My mom, Me, and Trey (Rachel Faith's biological father) |
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| This weekend, they are family and came down for Easter. Me, Rachel Faith, Jenny and Tim. EB had to work:( We missed you!! |
